Don’t stop reading

I have read many articles from many authors offering their advice across a wide range of self-help topics. The draw of a lot of these writings is, of course, the belief or hope that by following the authors advice or perhaps choosing the path they chose, it will give you a head start (in life).

Whilst I believe most of these articles do have value, I wanted to lend my voice to those that say it is not as simple as some writers may (unwittingly or otherwise) suggest. I tend to be wary of the ‘follow these X steps to be more Y’ articles. The ones that suggest some sort of formula for being more confident, or getting richer, or being happier. Following these steps will often not make a blind bit of difference to your life. At least not in any direct way.

This is where some readers may stop reading thinking that this is just another self-help article bashing other self-help articles. Yawn…what a hypocrite! But hopefully, for some, it is worth continuing on to see that is not the case.

What prompted me to write this article was a small realisation or understanding I recently gained that tied into some of the self-help I have read over the years.

I have recently gone through a fair bit of change in my life. I have moved house, taking on a larger mortgage. At the same time my job has become more and more turbulent with mergers and restructures becoming a constant cloud. My youngest daughter is about to start senior school … where did that time go? Nothing too dramatic but with COVID and a number of other ‘little things’ I have felt like I’m losing some control. And this is where my love of running comes in.

For the last 15 years or so I have gone out for a (at least weekly) run. It is something I love doing. However, my intention is not to try to convince you of the benefits of running, of which I think there are many by the way. What I wanted to share was my realisation that amongst all the recent change in my life, running has been one of the chief constants and has been for a long time.

Now, I have read countless articles saying something along the lines of “try to find a constant in your life to help you…” but none of them have made me think I should take up running or get some other kind of ‘constant’ that was maybe missing in my life. That would not have worked out. At least, not for me.

For me, the value has come through when I’ve understood the shared experience. Realising that running has always been there for me over the years helping me to be more grounded and happier in life. Just as others have no doubt realised at some point with their own constants.

My point is, that if you are someone who reads self-help articles and are perhaps finding yourself getting despondent or cynical because they ‘don’t work’, try taking them less prescriptively. Realise you are really just reading about someone’s experiences, the same as you are, in a less obvious way perhaps, in much of the good fiction writing out there.

The more you read the more likely you will benefit in some way from a shared experience and understanding. You may then find you want to write about an experience yourself, even if it may not be exciting or original enough to ‘go viral’.